Well on a positive note only 3 more, unless my doctor decides to do another 5 after that. Crossing my fingers and hoping not.
I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting to happen. The slight irritation I got after week 3 was pretty bad and I honestly thought it wouldn’t get much worse, even though my doctor said it would. Now my skin is coming off in places (mostly under my arm) and I really can’t imagine anything worse than this. But then again my doctor says it will get worse. Not very encouraging. In fact I just want to go to my room and cry. I gave my boss the word yesterday that I need the next several weeks off so I am now home. Just hoping he can find a sub for all that time.
Other than the pain from radiation and the side effects from Steven’s last surgery, both of us are doing okay. My hair is growing more and more every day. I have a whole half inch now! More exciting than that is I now have some eyebrows and eyelashes. I have once again gotten out the mascara. I'm very happy about that. Steven's incision is healing very well and he is starting to get more feeling back. The feeling returning to his arm is not all good at this point though. He has a lot of pain in his left shoulder and arm. He is currently undergoing physical therapy for it. Hopefully it begins to feel better soon.
With all that our family has been going through the last couple of months I have noticed a gradual change in our marriage and in our family. We have had to learn to rely on the Lord for everything. Because of this Steven and I are closer than we have ever been, and I feel more qualified to teach things of the spirit to my girls. I have noticed my relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior to be more profound. I can feel myself being humbled and taught. This has been a great blessing for me as well as our family. Although I don't care for cancer, I am grateful for what I have learned and continue to learn because of the trials we are going through. I am coming to understand the atonement better each day, though I still have much to learn. I have such a great love for Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I know that they love me and are aware of what my family and I are going through. I feel as though I am being put through the refiners fire. I know that in the end this will be for my good and my learning. What a great blessing it is to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessings of eternal families. The knowledge I have brings such peace to my soul.
I again want to express my gratitude to everyone for their support, love and prayers. Most of all I want to say thank you for the many acts of service by so many. I am surrounded by angels.
